I Surrender All

Hi Reva! It’s time to renew your Adult Life Plan. You can renew now with one annual payment of $2008 or make recurring payments of $301 for the next twelve months.

It would be great if the cost of Adulting was optional. It would be nice if it came with a forewarning, but it doesn’t. It comes in the form of random and untimely inconveniences.

You get a flat tire on the way to work and find out you need to replace your tires. Yes, all four of them. That will be $700 ma’am.

Your car keeps stalling because you need a new fuel pump. That’ll be $1500 ma’am.

You get a strange call from an unknown number only to learn that a portion of the pier and beam system that supports your house has completely collapsed. *mind explodes*

You didn’t believe your dad when he told you it was more expensive to heat a house than it is to cool it. That’ll be $400 ma’am.

And just when you think the dust has settled and you can get back to living again your car won’t start because your battery is dead. That’ll be $170 ma’am.

I took a break from writing last fall because I had a lot going on. I thought that putting things on pause would help me to regain control and that I’d be better equipped to handle all of the life happenings.

I learned that life doesn’t work like that way.

One day I was doing sprint intervals with my trainer. I started out at a comfortable pace of 7mph. He increased the speed to 9mph. I ran at that pace for one minute. He lowered it to 7mph for one minute. He increased the speed again, this time to 9.5mph. I was keeping stride. It was a challenge, but I wasn’t tripping. He lowered it again. Then he raised it to 10mph and we continued this cycle until I had run at a speed of 12mph for thirty seconds.

Every time my trainer increased the speed I would immediately tense up. My breaths would get shorter and so would my stride. He coached me through it by reminding me to keep breathing. He would always say that the breath is God’s sustaining life force. He also told me to surrender, to relax, to let go. Following his advice kept me from flying off the back of that treadmill. I had to breathe, relax and literally reposition myself by lowering my hips just a tad in order to maintain my stride. It was taxing, but I got through it.

Why am I telling you this story? Because it is analogous to what I have learned about this Adult life.

Every time I think I’ve got it figured out the pace changes and I tense up. I have a knee jerk reaction that is liable to leave me out of pocket when all I need to do is breathe and surrender to God. Surrender the idea that I have to figure out and control everything that is happening because I simply CANNOT.

I can only control what I can do. The other parts come together in their own way on their own time. And I just happen to believe that all the inconveniences and mishaps will come together perfectly for good to those who love the Lord.

So at a time of year when I’m normally detoxing and making to do lists to reset my life, this year I’m not. I don’t have to do that because like India Arie said God’s grace washes me new everyday.

All I have to do is relax and keep showing up and I’ll be alright.

Happy Hump Day Beautees!