The Other Side of Goals

I bought my first house. Yay Me!

I had been preparing myself for this purchase for about three years. In 2015 I started to pay more attention to my credit report and credit score. If there were any problems I corrected them. I began to gather all of the necessary documents that are required to apply for a home loan. I named the folder “Reva the Home Buyer.”  In 2016 I got a little more serious about saving money. I set up an automatic draft to an account to which I could not have instant access.  I worked on a plan to pay off the little credit card and student loan debt that I had. Step by Step my plan came together, but I still didn’t feel ready to make a purchase.  I wasn’t sure that I wanted to make the DFW Metroplex my real home.

I was seriously considering moving to the east coast, New York City to be specific. I felt like I needed a fresh start, a new experience to help me grow. The city is known for being a jungle and succeeding there requires a certain amount of hustle. I thought I would be forced out of my comfort zone and it would be a good change of pace for me. Then, in January of this year, I did the Daniel Fast. During the fast I had a very strong moment of clarity. Moving to a new city wasn’t the answer to the problem I was having. It would only be an escape route that provided temporary relief. What I really needed to do was get grounded and dig in.

I set this career goal for myself in college. I wanted to become a fashion buyer and I achieved that goal. That is what I do for a living. Here is the thing, getting to this point and earning this title was only the beginning. There was and has been a slew of WORK to be done on this side of the mountain. And if I’m honest, for a while I was avoiding that work. In the beginning I avoided it unknowingly. My organization has this sink or swim culture. I entered a new role and went at it with the same level of intensity and the same approach as I had my previous role. The titles for both positions were the same and people told me that it was going to be the same thing. I believed them and I shouldn’t have. The titles are similar and the function is similar. The work, however, is very different.

I was an athlete in high school and one thing my coach always taught us was that we needed to be students of the game.  That is a thought that I always carry with me. In my previous professional roles that was my approach, but in this one it wasn’t. I didn’t forget, but I just had this expectation that for some reason I would get better training and/or I knew what I was doing. Like, “Mama I made it!” We all want to say that right?! But in my case I was WRONG again. I didn’t make it. I had simply arrived. I came to the realization that I needed to get grounded and dig in during my fast. I needed to do better and learn more and apply myself more in this phase before running to the next thing. The work that I have to do in this space is meant to develop me as a professional and a person. This work is the challenge I need to grow and as long as I stand up to the test I will be all the better for it.

Being self-aware is cool sometimes.

Now I’m off to beast my hump day. Byyyyye


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